I recently created this as a reel for Instagram and it got a huge amount of interaction…. (The reel represents all the incredible women who seek to honour their vows, embody the true meaning of love which seeks to accept rather than judge, understand rather than condemn, and stand beside their husband when he emerges from the affair fog and realises the healing that needs to take place.)

“I wonder if you know what it feels like to sit across from your husband at dinner, watching him check his phone and knowing he’s messaging you. To lie awake at night while he’s “working late,” knowing exactly where he is and what he’s doing. To smell another woman’s perfume on his clothes when I do laundry, and have to pretend I don’t.

Maybe you tell yourself I’m cold, or controlling, or that we’re miserable together. Maybe he’s told you stories about how unhappy he is, how I don’t understand him, how special you are. I wonder if you realise you’re not the first woman he’s said these things to. I wonder if you know that while he’s telling you how miserable his marriage is, he’s telling me how much he loves me.

You’re not stealing him — he’s not a possession to be taken. You’re just helping him be the worst version of himself. You’re helping him lie to his children. You’re helping him destroy himself and his family.

I’m not writing this because I hate you. I actually feel sorry for you because no one who is happy within themselves would date a married man. No, I’m writing because I want you to really see what you’re part of. Every time you meet him, every text you send, every secret moment you share — you’re helping cause damage that may never fully heal.

You think you know him because you see him a few stolen hours at a time. I know him in the morning with bedhead and morning breath. I know him when he’s sick, when he’s scared, when he’s failed. I know the man who held my hand through labour, who cried when his father died, who taught our children to ride bikes.

Your love comes with conditions — My love comes with the knowledge of exactly who he is, flaws and all, and chooses him anyway.

You can’t offer that kind of love because you haven’t earned it. You haven’t put in the time, endured the struggles, or seen the ugly parts. You haven’t built anything real with him — you’ve just borrowed pieces of someone else’s life.

So yes, you might have his attention right now. You might even have his infatuation. But I have his history. I have his truth. And if he’s willing, I have his future.”

….

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