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August 24, 2008
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August 16, 2008
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Dating Challenge: Crossing the ‘Friend Zone’
You’ve had feelings for your friend for a while and you’re worried about crossing the line and ruining the friendship. That’s not really true, of course, but that’s what you keep telling yourself so you can justify not putting yourself on the line and risking rejection.
Sure — it’s possible to love a friend without picturing him in bed. Having feelings for your friend doesn’t necessarily prove Harry’s theory in “When Harry Met Sally” who famously declared that “No gay man can be friends with a man that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with him.”
There are exceptions to Harry’s rule, but one thing is certain — being seen as just a friend by all the people you want to date can be frustrating. So here are a few ways to prevent being stuck in (cue scary music): ‘The Friend Zone’:
1. Do Flirt
It’s okay if romance is on your brain when you greet your friend. In fact, it can fuel the chemistry. It’s good for your friend to catch you subtly checking him out. As long as you’re not drooling or gawking, it can be sexy. You want your friend to think he imagined the look. Light touching and sincere and specific compliments are great for flirting, too.
2. Don’t Be the Problem Solver
Are you on speed dial every time your friend needs something fixed or wants to process a bad relationship? It’s nice to help your friend occasionally, but make sure you’re not the one he associates with problems.
If you do come over to help, mention that you’re happy to assist for an hour but have plans after that. Better to remain a little mysterious and have your friend wondering who else is getting your attention.
3. Have Fun
Create unique memories. You’re aware of your friend’s passions, so initiate fun and interesting activities that you know your friend will enjoy but isn’t doing with others.
And — if someone has dumped you, confide in a friend you don’t have feelings for! Remember to keep an upbeat attitude and stay confident — those are two of the most attractive qualities cited by singles when looking for a mate.
Of course, not every friendship ends with a romantic happy ending and you may have to be prepared that your crush just wants to stay your friend. You’ll have to decide if that’s enough for you.
In the meantime, if you feel like you often end up in the friend zone with people you want to date, plant some of these seeds and see if anything grows in your relationship. Sometimes a glass of wine or a flirtatious exchange can change the dynamic… and you look at each other and wonder why it took so long.
July 18, 2008
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15 Simple Ways to Keep Your Partner Happy
So you’re in a relationship and your partner starts nagging. He tells you that you just don’t understand him, and that he really wishes that you would just do more “little things.”
It’s not the big things that make him happy; it’s paying attention to the little details and showing you care that is really meaningful. He doesn’t necessarily need lavish gifts — He needs to know you’re thinking about him.
Here are some ideas to get you started doing these “little things” he really wants:
1. Rub his feet instead of asking him if he wants you to rub his feet. Make it look like you want to do it.
2. Make him dinner one night. Don’t ask him if he wants you to make dinner. Make him dinner before he gets home.
3. Light a candle so that he arrives home to a nice environment instead of coming home to the glaring lights of the television and other things.
4. Send him a text in the middle of the day telling her “I miss your smile from this morning” or “Last night was amazing!” or “The conversation we had last night was great.”
5. Send an eCard in the middle of the day… something cute to remind him how much you really care about him.
Send an eCard in the middle of the day… something cute to remind him how much you really care about her.
6. If he’s going on a business trip, offer to drive him to the airport or pick him up to make his life that much easier.
7. Let him have control of the remote control. Don’t monopolize it for a change. Just give it to him and let him actually sit there and enjoying watching one of his shows. Then you can share one of his interests by watching it with him.
8. Offer to iron one of his shirts or take his clothes to the dry cleaner.
9. Clean up the bathroom without being asked. Don’t just sit there and ignore the mess around the toilet. If you know it drives him crazy to see water splashed all around the sink, dry that area after you use it.
10. If you work out together, enjoy it with him instead of rushing through your own workout and then not letting his workout at the same time.
11. Take a shower together, then wash his hair, scrub his back, and give him a spa treatment. Do this and enjoy it!
12. The next time he gives you a massage, give him a massage the next day. Offer it! Don’t just say you’ll give him a massage…do it!
13. Surprise him by making plans. Tell him, “We’re going out tonight honey.” You can even just go out for a drink or dinner somewhere. It’s taking the initiative that’s important.
14. Decide on and set aside one night a week as date night. Have a date like when you first started dating.
15. Call him in the middle of the day and just say hello. Don’t wait for him to call you.
It can be simple to keep him satisfied. It’s not necessarily about what you give him financially or what gifts you give him. That’s a cop out. It’s the little things. The guy who makes the biggest mistake is the one who ignores their significant other then all of a sudden give them an expensive gift to make up for it. That doesn’t make up for it at all.
May 28, 2008